An illustrated blog about psychology and relationships.

What kind of you would you like your partner to adore? Be that person sometimes! more ›

Therapy (and life with someone else!) doesn’t work very well when we concentrate mainly on what the other person should change in themselves.

Each couple has their own private set of beliefs, which hold problems in place and make changes for the better much more difficult.

The most common ones include:
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An intense focus on our partner’s achievements usually means it would be good to focus on our own.

Arnold Mindell (the founder of process psychology) emphasizes that it’s no coincidence when we feel particularly good in certain places. The energy of these places is in harmony with the deepest parts of ourselves.

The same applies to couples. When you are having a difficult time, go to a place which has special memories for you (even if you go in your imagination!) Allow the atmosphere of that place to remind you that you have much more that brings you together than unpaid bills and unwashed socks…

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When you are close enough to somebody, you influence them. And they influence you. This might be through touch, voice, gestures, thoughts or feelings. To a large extent, this kind of communication takes place without the participants’ awareness, unconsciously. more ›